Wednesday, June 20, 2012

#




As much as I would like to sit here this morning and write up some upbeat kind of post, I can't quite bring myself to do it. I've never been good at pretending that all is fine when it's really not. Sometimes life can feel just a little flat. When all the wrongness in your life is glaringly obvious and the rightness seems a little harder to find. When the sameness and mundane of the day to day can kind of get to you. I'm searching for that spark to start a new project or cook those feijoas that are waiting in their basket to be made into jam. But I'm not really feeling the spark right now.

A few things have been going on at the kid's school. Things that don't sit comfortably with me. I won't go into specifics but I'll admit to losing a little sleep lately over what has been going on. It may be tricky to work out when to step in and when to step back. But I've learnt this week to trust my instincts and speak up.

So please bare with me as I try to find a little more enthusiasm for the day to day. I know it's lurking in there somewhere. I may just have to force myself to find it again.


34 comments:

mamarachael said...

Such is life sometimes. Its a bummer, but this, too, shall pass.

New days mean another chance to do what is needed. I'm praying for wisdom for you to figure out what to do with the kids' school stuff -- that's never easy.

Catherine said...

Oh no I'm sorry to hear that things are not going so well at your children's school. It is such a hard thing to send them off to school letting others be in charge of them and when things are quite right then to know when to step in, it's hard. I found it very hard not to speak my mind Miss 8's school I think that might be the spunk I get from my Mum;) I ended up pulling her out at the end of last year and changing schools, so glad I did. I hope things improve soon and that your spark returns. Take care. xx

Miss E said...

Oh dear. I hope things turn out okay for you and the kids. Well done for speaking up, confrontation is never easy.

yardage girl said...

Glad I'm not the only one today ... I hope both our weeks improve. Nic

sascedar said...

i've just emerged from a six-month-season of that feeling. just general 'something isn't quite right' feelings. it passes. i hope the school stuff is easily sorted. take care :)sarah

Gladys in the Garden.blogspot.com said...

These times are always tricky. Be kind to yourself and maybe try not to put too many demands on yourself at the moment.
I am sorry that your children are having a few issues at school. School can be so challenging, particularly if it concerns their peers. I'm glad you followed your instincts too, I always think it's the best thing to do.
Take care Tania. X

Veronica said...

take care tania. thinking of you. i will see you around these parts a little more next week. your children's time at school should be one of happy learning and joyful playground experiences. as parents we have the right to ensure this is lived up to. you have a voice and your a good mum. i am sure you are doing the right thing. now it's cuppa time. go have one. xo

Brave New Fiona said...

I know how you feel Tania. I just drop off the radar altogether when I am like that so you are doing very well keeping the communication going. This might sound a bit strange, but when my mood gets heavy, for whatever reason, I take a spoonful of apple cider vinegar. Don't ask me why, but it can pick you up a bit. I find I start to think a little clearer and perhaps the answer/motivation needed comes. I'm sorry to hear a school matter is stealing your sleep. It is so hard sometimes to know when to intervene (I have had day care troubles), and when to let it sort itself out as the former may cause future tension. Trust your gut ALWAYS! I reckon you already know what to do. xxx Fi

Jode said...

I really hear you on that feeling...been in a similar place myself lately and it can also seem a little too hard to get that enthusiasm going...but give yourself permission to feel that way and just do the things you need to do right now to feed your soul....sit down for some cuddles and forget about those things you 'should' be doing. Parenting doesn't have a rulebook!
Trust your instincts...especially when it comes to your kids and schooling....sometimes it is harder to act but you will gain more peace in the end i think.
Sending lots of hugs and warm wishes your way....and please know that it's ok to step back a bit xx

Tammi said...

Yep I know that feeling all too well. I had a concerned friend ring the other day actually to say she had seen my spark slowly fading over recent months.
Wishing you well Tania, don't be afraid to follow your instincts where your kids and school is concerned and be kind to yourself and take care.
x

Lilian said...

We all get those days. You're just honest enough to admit it. I find myself in the same boat this past month. I have a feeling it had to do with the lack of sunshine and the long rain periods in summer and then the carry on effect into the dreary days of autumn and winter. Be kind to yourself and let things be. Start slow with just one thing that brings you joy and then follow it up with more. Starting is always the hardest I find... Sending you prayers and well wishes.

alison@thisbloominglife said...

Here's hoping that the spark is lit again and you feel brighter soon. I read one of your posts in the past couple of days and wondered if you were struggling a bit. Like you, I find it almost impossible to pretend all is well when it's not and it's good to be honest about these things!

Christina Lowry said...

Oh yes, there are going to be days like this, but I think you are doing the right thing in acknowledging how you feel. I find that's the key, acknowledging it, allowing myself to feel it, but trying not be overwhelmed by it. Lots of cups of tea and chats with my sister usually helps. Don't force yourself. I also remind myself that 'this too shall pass,' because it is easy to forget when you are in the moment. Go gently and keep trusting your instincts. All the best. xx

Evi said...

Challenges that involve our children are always hard to deal with but if you can speak your heart whether in this space or to the people involved, then you are already ahead. Using this time in introspection will bring you all sorts of understanding, both of yourself and of whatever situation you need to deal with. Take all the time you need - your family needs you more than this space.
Sending you love and hugs, beautiful mama xx

The Teaching Of Thom said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
theoldmilkcan said...

Sending you a warm cuppa and a peaceful moment by the fire (unless you live in the northern hemisphere...then it is an iced drink and a laze on a deck chair). I know what it is like losing sleep over school issues - still happens to me. It is a bit of a pet hate of mine how they make you feel that as a parent you can't know better than the system...bah to that, go with your gut feelings.
You don't always have to post happy either...I'm pretty sure all of us in blog land appreciate honesty and empathise completely with flat times.
Best of wishes.

Anonymous said...

I hope your feeling better:)You know I just want to say thanks for being honest,I'm sooooo tired of reading all these blogs were everything seems so perfect in their lives....you will get the odd one that writes with honesty,but really its not many!
I'm sure all of us can totally relate to what your saying:)I know I do:)
Wishing you the best:)
Carleene

Lea said...

Oh Tania I hope you feel a little more peaceful after reading the comments and knowing you are not alone. As a teacher become mama I felt so confused when my kids started school because it was a new perspective for me. I say as mama's, we are our children's advocates...you will know what sits right and what doesn't.
Best of luck. Leax

Kim H said...

Thinking of you, Tania. Thanks for sharing and being honest. It's so good to share the troubles as well as the joys. A trouble shared and all that:) I hope you can find ways of working through the stuff going on at school. If not, there are always other options;). Stay well xx

BLD in MT said...

I imagine we all have these hum-drum, spark-less days. I know I do. I must say I admire your posting about it. So often, and I am probably guilty of this, we tend to only blog about the good and up-ful, but that isn't all that makes up our days. My warm thoughts travel to you today, hoping you'll soon find your spark again.

freefalling said...

A good sleep goes a long way.

dixiebelle said...

I have recently had to speak up about something at my workplace, and it caused me a lot of sleepless nights. The workplace culture and the backlash or consequences worried me a lot, but in the end, the thought of what might happen if I didn't say something worried me more.

Hope you find your mojo again soon. I decided in amongst the upheaval and stress going on here, to do a little frugal redecorating, as something positive to keep me going, something different to think about.

Fiona said...

Hope the school troubles resolve quickly ... Take care of yourself ... I'm sure that winter weather gets us down too, even though we don't have snow and ice here ... Take your time and snuggle a lot!

simone17 said...

Hey Tania,
have you noticed how many "take care of yourself" and "be kind to yourself" comments there are? I couldn't agree more. Sounds like you need a good treat, or a few, and rest. We all have those phases and once again, I thank you for sharing honestly. I hope you are feeling better soon xx simone

Bee Girl said...

Trusting your instincts and speaking up are essential for your own well-being...they also teach your children the importance of both. Be kind to yourself, take care of your family and trust that the lessons will make sense soon :-)

motherwho said...

Thinking of you Tania. It's nearly the weekend! I hope you can spend some quality time with your family over the weekend and feel refreshed and ready for a new week come Monday xxx

Kate said...

Treat yourself kindly and allow yourself this time to relax and refocus. There are so many beautiful things in your life that I'm sure you won't have to force any enthusiasm, it's there. Just somedays it's a little harder to find.
Kate xx

Also, I just bake a batch of your Good Muffins for afternoon tea. The house smells amazing!

Greer said...

Nothing worse than that ick feeling that things aren't right in their (the kids') world. Hope things are a bit better for you today. Take care x

Gladys in the Garden.blogspot.com said...

Hi Tania, I love your blog so I hope you don't mind but I have nominated you the Sunshine Award. No obligation though :)

Julie said...

Hope things improve soon Tania. xxoo

Serena said...

Hope the sunshine comes back out for you soon. x

Ngo Family Farm said...

Oh yes, I've had those days too. Wishing you and your family well.

Take good care,
Jaime

Nicole Sanders said...

Some days are tough aren't they, to get the motivation to do things you want to do. Its even harder when you have things on your mind. Go by your instincts, I believe a mother knows whats best for her little ones, listen to your heart. Don't be afraid to speak up when it comes to your precious ones!:) Nx

Brenda @ Mira Narnie said...

oh Tania, i hope you find your spark again soon! I think its natural for the human body to have moments of up and down, spark and no spark, but of course when you add some anxiety or stress it seems a little overwhelming. I hope the issues at your children's school settle (I too and having some school anxiety!) so can empathise with you on that....take care...one step and that spark will return xx