Tuesday, October 23, 2012

an anniversary





On Saturday night we celebrated my brother and sister in law's ten year wedding anniversary. I'd forgotten just how much work it is to get a family of five packed and out the door. I learnt to never try and sew a dress at the last minute. Because it will very likely go wrong. You may end up with the wrong sized zipper (as I did) at 1am in the morning. But a quick (though rather expensive) stop off on the way, resulted in the purchase of a ready made dress, ensuring that I would have a dress to wear, and thankfully an Australian made one at that. Thank goodness for patient husbands. Lesson learnt the hard way.

But it was really a very great night. We saw family and friends we hadn't seen in a long time. I often tend to shy away from larger gatherings, which I will blame on the introverted side of my personality. My life now is quieter in a social way than it ever has been before. When I was younger there was often events to go to and people to visit. But when you move, get a little older and have more kids, parties, barbeques and dinner invitations are something that happen far less often than they used to. Friendships become fewer. In some ways this has felt like a relief. I know I tend to isolate myself a little too much if given the opportunity. But I think it's true to say that we all need company. That we actually need it to thrive.

I think I figured out the other night that it really is something I need a little more of in my life. Getting together with friends is worth pushing past the invisible barriers that I hold myself back with. Making that effort, phoning that person I've been meaning to, attending an invitation or having friends over for lunch. I know I need to do more of this. I know it is well and truly worth the effort. Friendships need to be nurtured to survive.

The next morning there was family, muffins, a coffee shop and another quick catch up with old friends. We left feeling good. It was like old times.





15 comments:

Tracey said...

Congratulations to your bother and sister inlaw.
You look so beautiful in your dress Tania, you have quite a talent.
I so understand how you feel about the crowds and getting out. I spend so much time away from the crowds that when I am in one it is all so overwhelming. One of my son's was married on Saturday and I had to socialize with about 200 people; I survived, but am so glad to be back on my quiet land!

paula said...

gorg dress !! I like to hide away in my house a bit too .... sometimes people are just too much trouble, i'd rather bake !! x

Tania said...

Thanks Tracey, but I cannot claim credit for this dress. It is by Very Very. Mine is waiting for a new zipper still!

Darcel said...

Coming out from lurking...you look beautiful and it looks like a good time was had by all.

OurGangof7 said...

You look gorgeous Tania. I love your daughters hair, it looked beautiful done like that.
Hubby and I aren't social people either and even less so after our recent move to Victoria as we know no one. I am feeling that we need to somehow make some friends here though because I am starting to feel a little lonely and I never thought I would say that lol.

simone17 said...

Lovely dress! Love the photo of Julia..her expression is priceless and by the way, her hair is gorgeous up, you can see her pretty face better. But my favourite photo is the one of little Violet and her little friend exploring...just so cute.

I could have written what you wrote here...maybe it is a bit of the less you see people the less you feel like it, I think that is true for me. Not sure if that's a good thing though.
I guess it takes some inner strength too though to be happy with your own company only and that I know has to be a good thing.

alison@thisbloominglife said...

I too am guilty of not nurturing my friendships. It's all too easy to get engrossed in my own little world. I'm lucky that my friends know how useless I am but thanks for the reminder, I'll go make a few phone calls and arrange some catchups.

Gooseberry Jam said...

Your a stylish one! You and those girls look fabulous!
It's one of those things isn't it, when you drag yourself out of the house for a function when you'd rather be just baking! But every time you get there, your glad that you did! I love a social gathering but I too tend to hide behind the comforts of my families company more than I should. Glad to hear you had a good time, I think that when the children get older you crave a certain something else as well. A bit of your own time maybe? Enjoy the rest of your week xo

Steph said...

I can only imagine how long it takes to get everyone out the door looking lovely with wees done, nappies changed, hair braided.... I only have two and sometimes by the time we all get ready we're almost too exhausted to go anywhere. Your dress is lovely. I hope it made up for the early morning tears. Hope all is lovely :) x

Sarah said...

You look gorgeous Tania.
I understand about the whole introverted thing. I am a small gathering person. I had my nieces 21st birthday party over the weekend and I was glad to have jobs to do all night and my dear mother-in-law rather than mingle. Mind you, I am really comfortable with a select few close friends and I have learnt that having a few special friendships is really important. There is nothing quite like a girlie chat over a cuppa.
x

Naturally Carol said...

Lovely dress..love that fifties waistline and gathered skirt..and the floral. Socialising seems to happen in bunches..I'm either flat out with every event happening in a week or two or there's nothing. Learning to enjoy my own company during those quiet weeks and do some relationship building stuff like phone calls has taken me a while to figure out..but I love it now. Keeping up the energy levels and enjoying the moment when it's the fourth birthday in a row also takes some getting used to! It's that balance thing again. Looks like you had a great time.

bonsaimum said...

Beautiful dress and a lovely photo of you and your hubby. I prefer small intimate gatherings myself, which don't happen that often I must say.But your right, every now and then you do need to connect, if for no other reason than to talk to someone other than yourself and the kids! :)

Christina Lowry said...

My first thought was that you had made the dress! Like Carol I go in cycles of having a lot on and catching up, to withdrawing and needing more time to myself again, catching up at home, before feeling the need to catch up with friends again. It seems to work! :)

Kim H said...

Looks like a lovely celebration, Tania:) Your dress is gorgeous - clever gal! It's a balancing act isn't it? Company and quiet. If I get the balance wrong, either way, I feel overwhelmed. Here's to lots of lovely catch ups with family and friends with lots of lovely quiet days inbetween:) x

Amanda said...

Tania, you look stunning - such a lovely smile and a beautiful dress. I know what you mean about needing to make more of an effort in terms of friendships, I too feel that sometimes I put catch-ups in the 'too hard basket' but I need to change my mindset and make more of an effort in this area :)